(Yes, this is my second post on the topic I, hate it that much!)
Health check, pants down.
Insert huge bush of greying pubic hair in my face with a sad little wormy penis tucked away under there somewhere.
Let me tell you what pubic hair is for, sad fellow.
It absorbs sweat when you mow the lawn when your wife can stop you from playing golf.
And, cavemen found it handy in reducing friction during sex.
Not only is it useless, it stinks. Especially more so because you haven’t been getting action for years and so you really haven’t washed down there properly for just as long. Your pubes absorb that stench, dude. Yuck.
When giving head, it gets up your nose. You have to place your hand over this bush to do a half decent job without sneezing.
Putting a condom on is a nightmare, let alone finding your sad little willy to start making it hard while pulling half of the hairs out in the process. Mmmm, sexy.
Forget ball play, they’re even closer to your ass hairs!
And while your sad little penis gets its few thrusts in before dying, all I can feel is the velcro-y crunching of your bush against my sensitive pink bits.
More than once I have commented to clients that I have to go and get my mirkin before we can start (pussy wig, fyi).
"What? Why?" They exclaim.
Because if you don’t bother at least trimming to make things neat and rather more enjoyable, why the fuck should I?
Women wax, epilate, shave, trim, dye, shape, pluck and spend a significant amount of time, money and effort to make our fannies into gift boxes for our sexual partners to receive.
Many clients ask us if we are shaved before booking. Heaven forbid they should be affronted with au natural pubes on a sex worker. (Unless they fall into the exceptional category of muff lovers.)
But the majority of men, (well, those who pay to see me, anyway) think nothing of presenting a national park of pubes after I’ve spent hours removing mine.
Such a double standard!
I would like to thank the small number of men out there who bother to clipper occasionally. Their wives are probbly pretty happy, too.
To the shavers, thank you for your efforts, but buy some clippers. Your spiky re growth is just as uncomfortable for my pink bits as a full bush.
To those men doing their bit to save our national parks- don’t be offended when I offer you some scissors to trim in the shower. You might actually get some from the Mrs if your penis is removed from that stinky tangle!!
Love, D xx
This doco made me cry. The streets and motels surrounding disneyland are nothing more than slums. Its heartbreaking to hear the kids say that god only gives you the things you really need, not the things you want. Worth a watch.
What an incredibly shitty end to 2011! Glad to see the back of it.
The last post I wrote was about moving back to Sydney… It didnt go so well…
The brothels were lovely, the girls were lovely, the clients were the same as usual…But the drug taking was phenominal.
Phenominally bad, that is.
Every client would ask in intros “Do you like to party??”. No loser, I dont like having to lines of coke off your dick in order to make money, no matter how good that coke is or how much you’re paying. Lets just say I didnt get many bookings…
Drugs… A personal preference for everyone, but I beleive more in recreational use rather than an occupational necessity. So, I’m back in Queensland where the brothels are legal, unlicenced, and the clients not so partial to ‘partying’.
Lots of material up my sleeve, so expect a few more posts in the following weeks.
Play safe, lovers…
Photo: Look out Sydney! I’m coming home! I’ve had enough of sunny queensland, its time for me to move back… http://t.co/ffXzvYX0
My dad is the coolest.
Another lunch at the surf club, and the most direct and honest father daughter conversation about my career.
He is supportive, caring and non judgemental.
What more could a girl want?
Love you Dad xox
Photo: bedbugsbiting: You’re a douche. Porn stars and sex workers are mothers, sisters, daughters and… http://t.co/bFpDqnVr